In Which Life Carries On...

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 16:17:34 GMT

Hoi hoi! Hello everyone!

Everyone... I wonder if anyone even reads this.

Anyway, just updating to say that school is still going well for me. Make up is going smoothly and I am catching up quickly. I am a little emotionally drained, however. Things are making me easily upset lately and that makes things tough because I can't focus as well as I should. I am still working on keeping myself in check so don't worry too much.

The weather has been curiously warm for this time of year. It was nearly 90 in Glendale this weekend... Orange county is a little cooler simply because it is next to the coast. Hopefully it cools off soon.

I can't wait to see everyone at Thanksgiving!

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 23:21:05 GMT

Family!

I wanted to let everyone know I am doing much better now. I am no longer vomiting up everything I eat and besides feeling a little tired I am very good. I learned a little bit though, this time around I will eat and sleep better and keep my stress levels down for myself and everyone else. I will return to school on Monday. Hopefully I won't have too much stuff to make up, but I don't expect to get off easy. I can do it!

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone at home know that I am doing alright, and thank you for the prayers. They really did help me reach this point and I hope they don't stop!

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:12:46 GMT

To those of you who pray please send out prayers for me. I really believe in the power of prayer and I need it more than ever right now. To those of you who don't pray send me as many good vibes as you can.

I have been in the ER for the past three or four days with nausia and I haven't been able to keep much down at all in six days. I am very very weak right now, I can hardly walk around without stumbling. I have been surviving on IV fluids up to this point, but that isn't really the right way to survive. I have to eat something... but nothing is staying down.

This isn't due to any physical issues like an ulcer or something, it is all pretty much mental I am sure, but even if I convice myself that everything is ok, my stomach is still used to not having anything in it.

So that is what I ask of you, please pray for me. I don't have many other options. Thank you.

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:18:18 GMT

Update on life!

Never like someone that already has a partner. Bad news. Unfortunately I couldn't help myself and I set myself up once again for a hurty hurt. But hopefully all is well now and it just takes some healing.

As a result, I found that I have been getting at the most, four hours of sleep a night for a few days. I also have not eaten for two whole days. I have ended up feeling very weak and tired. I forced down some milk just now but already it feels as if I will see it again soon. Buh, it feels like I am sick with the flu or something. I feel awful. I need to force something to stay in my belly.

School is going well so far, I have been having a good time, nothing is giving me the slip so that is good. Work, has been off and on. Sunday was a terrible day for there was no manager present to cook or run the place, just three new parttimers. The restaraunt totally bombed that night. I hope they get a manager in next Sunday otherwise I won't show up.

Ohhh man, I feel awful.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 01:50:16 GMT

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO MY HOUSE! I AM HAVING FUN HEEEERE! I CAN'T WAIT TILL I CAN MOVE DOWN HERE! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK ON SATURDAY! I ALSO HAVENT SLEPT IN 48 HOURS!

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 04:37:25 GMT

Auuuugh the thought running through my head right now: "IIIII don't want a job!" It is really depressing me. I think its mainly because I will have NO free days anymore. None. There will be no days I can spend the night at Megans anymore or even go up there to see her because I will have something to go back to the next morning. I really want to cry right now... as silly as that sounds. Mmmmmn I am not happy. The money I make on this job isn't even going to be able to pay for anything besides gas and food, while I guess that is still good but I could make that much on art. I don't know I am just so sad that I have no free days now. I... can't do anything. Ugh. I am upset. Yes I am.

*sigh* I want to do commissions instead. I don't want to work at a food place. I am just going to ... to do this and be depressed. I am making everyone else happy so I guess that is what matters. Whatever it takes, next semester will be better, next semester will be better.

We went swimming today and that was nice. Perspective was really lame, I don't like that class much, but it's better tan 3D design from Shasta College. God in Heaven, I hated that class.

Okay, I am done.

oh JOY!

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 21:07:56 GMT

Well it has been a while since I wrote anything, hasn't it? I have my new computer now, he is a MacBook Pro, and his name is Thomas. He is pretty cool so far, he gets more internet than Lucas does so for the time being, I have wireless depending on where I am. So that is the update with that. Oh I got an iPod Nano along with thomas, his name is Juanito. He is better than Franchesco since Franchesco is dead. I am just scared I will break him or something because he is so small. But whatever, he was only 20 bucks. School sure has expensive necessities. Hopefully there isn't anything expensive that I need in my near future, I can make the money I have now go a long way... hopefully.

Speaking of which: this morning... I woke up to a nice present. Alex got a ticket overnight because I parked him on the street on a street-cleaning night. I thought they only cleaned the main street so I parked him on one of the side ones. Well, surprise... I was wrong. It's only fifty bucks, but I can't help but think that is fifty bucks that I could have spent on gas when my cards run out, or on healthier food to keep me alive, or paintbrushes... it just really bores into my mind and makes me rather pissed off. Paying tickets is such a waste of money... it just goes to the county so they can put more gas in their cop cars so they can drive around and give me more tickets to pay. They didn't even pay for the postage on the envelope to send the check in. It's like a pinch of salt in the wound. >8( Stupid money. How come I never have it when I NEED it. I always have it when I don't need it for anything and I end up spending it on stupid stuff.

Gotta get a job soon...

*rubs temples and sighs* But whatever, I just gotta get these things done and out of the way to make room for the next line of crap I need to walk through. Maybe if I am lucky I will get a break soon.

Ya know, after so long without internet, I really don't want to get back on it again. It was kinda nice not keeping up with all the going ons here and there. I just want to update things here and there and let it roll...

Anyway, thank you to anyone who has sent me money in the past for the beginning of college, I just wanted to let you know it did help even if it wasn't an amazing amount.
Oh and speaking of which, has everyone emailed me about the print? I have gotten a reply for the Flying Friends and the bunny/dolphin print, but the person who won the wolves fighting never contacted me... I don't think. :/ I want to try to send them all out at once so I don't have to make trips to the post office three different times. Buuuut if I have to then I will. I just wanted to know what was up. Thanks!

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 20:30:38 GMT

Do de doooo

Cody visiting was rather nice. Didn't get a chance to show him my place, I just live too far away. Buuut whatever. I hope he had a good time.

We went to Malibu beach on Sunday, it was rather nice. I got half the ocean pounded into my head though... that wasn't so nice. I didn't get sunburnt either, so that is good. We saw a bunch of little fat kids throwing garbage into the ocean though, and we were tempted to throw them into the deep water by their ankles. That really makes me mad how people can just do that and not even care. Trash rolls by them and they just look at it as it passes. No, I don't care if this isn't your section of beach or if this isn't your country or... what the reason is, you don't just throw your trash into the ocean and giggle as it floats away, or not pick up a plastic bag as it rolls by your feet. Or just pick up after yourself as you leave. How is it so hard? Hur, like it does much help saying it here... I wish I could just walk up to the people doing these things and tell them what for, then kick sand into their face.

Kicking sand at stupid people is joy.

Yesterday we went to Eric's mom's house to watch football again and we ate a tub of icecream. I swear I am not eating much, but what I AM eating isn't healthy. 8( I am going to be a tubby Kitsu when I am done with the first year.

Today Megan is at work again, and I am going to go to Swains to pick up some more art supplies. To quote Mr. Crabs: ME MONIEEE! I can't believe how much art supplies cost. Don't they know that artists are poor? How are we supposed to buy these things? Ugh.

To Dad: I hear you talked to Megan. To answer your question: no I don't have a job yet. Yes I know I need one. Yes I am trying to find one. I will tell you when I get one, so please don't rub my face in the fact till then. Besides that, I miss you and I hope work isn't as terrible as you make it sound. I can't wait to see you and everyone else come Thanksgiving!

To Nana and Gramps: Thank you for the scripts! I will use them with pride. :)

WELL I think I need to go off and get some art supplies. Hopefully they won't melt in my car before I can use them like some of my art supplies did. 8( I can't wait till the sun gets further away. I had to throw away a ruler because it got rather wavy from the heat. All of my woodless graphite is slimy too. SAD FACE. Anyway, less talk, more doing stuff.

I love all of you, regardless of what I might let on. I can't wait for Christmas! *dance*

Say What?

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:19:26 GMT

Just an update on life while I have the internets.

I am at Megan's this weekend. Hopefully that helps with the whole 'I feel like a hot sack of poop' thing that keeps coming up every now and then. We went to ramen tonight, and though I know my parents will laugh at me, I finally got turned down by Nao. Took him long enough, no? His excuse was that he had a girlfriend, haw haw. Whaaatever, I can take the hint, whatever it takes him to get his point across I guess. But you know, now I feel terribly self conscious about the whole thing...then again why shouldn't I feel self conscious; I act like a drunk person everytime I go in there. Welp, I guess I should slip back into the whole 'I hate love' routine again. *coughs*

Anyway, classes so far have gone well. I was an hour late to Digital Imaging today... oops! I forgot it was at nine in the morning, not ten. Haaaw, well the professor didn't seem too miffed, but I hope I don't do that again. Traffic was certainly lovely on the way too *sarcasm* I haaaate making that drive twice a day. The homework load is pretty intense... especially when I don't have internet to get things from the teachers, but I will do what I can. God willing, all my financial aid crud falls into place and I can keep going to classes.

Sad I missed Manami and Uncle Stew when they came up... not like I could help it. But HECK, I wouldn't have even known about it had I not heard Megan mention their house on the phone when Grampa called. Get ready for the sarcasm again! Thanks Grampa for mentioning they were there, or offering to have them talk to me? I dunno. I just reaaaaally feel like you guys don't like me that much as it is, specially Grampa. It hurts. Specially when I live behind Megan's shadow in practically everything. That isn't necessarily Megan's fault either. Does a piece of metal in my face really change how you feel about me? I am still the same old kid I always have been, just a little shinier in the lip area. I don't get it, what is worse... the fact that I have five grams of metal in my lip or the fact that people think that five grams of metal changes what kind of a person I am. Maybe it's not like that, but that is how I am seeing things from here, so forgive me if I am wrong. Megan pierced her belly button and you guys still love her just as much if not more?

*sigh* Forgive me, I have been having a tough couple weeks, and I am in a mood to rant and relieve some stress.

Anyway, about the only thing now that will help me is sleep so I must be off to it.

P.S.

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 19:24:52 GMT

(to everyone that was on my friends list)
Sorry but I have to keep this journal friendless from my side. 8( I have innocent family members reading this and I don't want to get in trouble because of something on my friends pages. It's nothing against anyone, I just forgot that I was going to keep it this way and I remembered after I added everyone ><; So don't get angry or anything... the friendsing is for my other journal.

Ramen and Jewels

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 18:58:19 GMT

Last night I went to Little Tokyo with the Lo, Gena (I hope I spelled that right) and Sierra. We had a grand ol' time walking around looking at things we cannot afford and admiring the pretty Asian men. It made me happy to be there yay! But I think I need to condemn myself from ever going in the Kinokunya bookstore ever again. ;_; I think I owe it my soul now.
Then we went and ate foods and drove back up to Megan's till Ramen time. Ramen time came and we went down to Daikokuya. First thing that the little waitress lady told me when I came in was "Sorry but Nao isn't working tonight!" I was like 'HO!' but I actually came there for the ramen for once so it wasn't that bad. Mochi was there but he was in the back sleeping so I only saw him for a little bit. But yeah, so apparently now Nao works Monday through Wednesday, then Friday. >8( Well don't worry, I will get him next time.
All the while, we were making up a comic story together. I think once again we were the loudest people in the restaurant... but it was funny so you have to understand. We all decided we were going to do a comic about a rping kind of gang that goes around and fights. I can finally use my towl-man idea! 8D YAY! That made me happy. It sounds like it is going to be a lot of fun to do if we ever get around to it. I need to get a place at Club Laguna next semester so we can all live in the same place for business. Hopefully Anna will be with me by then *LOVE*

Hoi, I forgot to mention to Naomi/bythefault...
The second day when we were hanging out at the beach with a table full of other students we were talking about online artists we knew. Someone mentioned you and the entire table erupted into a chorus of praise and envious groans. I swear, it was like ten of us from random places in the country and we all knew who you were and we all want to vampire your talent blood. It made me laugh, I thought you should know in case you ever feel like you aren't good enough or something.

Anyway... today I am going to draw for once. I KNOW! What a concept, huh. I haven't drawn anything good in a LONG time. All it has been is doodles and cartoony dumb sketches. So I get to it now.

I love you family, see you soon I hope!

Hanging In...

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 19:15:39 GMT

I drove up to Megan's place last night at midnight... traffic wasn't bad at all, I just can't see so well at night. :( So that was tough. I think I left nail marks in my steering wheel. Hope hanging out with Megan helps me feel better. I have computer access for once though!

What has happened in the past few days:
…just school stuff. Monday, Tuesday, and yesterday we just went to school everyday and did the basic 'This is your school, these are your teachers' routine. The first day we all were introduced to the teachers of the school and they all sound great. They even fed us! I realized that I didn't get any healthy foods for my place so I was filled with glee when they brought us bagels and grape juice for food. (ha ha, Nicole. It's just like home!)
Tuesday we all hopped on a bus and toured the area. By then I had made some friends with the kids (they all sound nice) and some REALLY good friends with a couple other girls. One named Lauren (Lo) and her friend... I can't remember her name 8( But they are both rather great; we have a lot in common. Yey! So we sat together on the bus and talked the entire two hour drive up to Huntington Beach and the hour to Dohenie (I can't remember how to spell these silly beach names). Then we rounded up a couple other crazy girls and walked around by the water, all the while making fun of David Bowie and throwing sea slugs back into the water. Then we drove back. A lot of people wanted to get back to their cars to go home by now (it was like six o'clock) and the bus had to turn around waaaay up in town to get on the right side of the road because traffic was so heavy. It felt like we were in some kind of horror story. "There is a bus that goes around in a giant circle... filled with hungry artists... searching for the campus... some say on a full moon night you can see the ghastly bus as it makes its billionth time around the endless circle, searching for a place to park. You can see the artists through the windows, clawing at the windows, 'PAAAAPER... PAAAAINT'."
Well, you get the idea. Then that night I went over to their place in Club Laguna to hang out. I am exceedingly jealous of their living situation.
Yesterday we waited to get registered and stuff like that. I got a bunch of basic classes like everyone else, and I got a few with Lo, so yay! Fortunately the "Human sexuality" class filled up right before my counselor was going to sign me up for it. >8D Ha ha! Then I sat in line for Financial Aid for an hour and a half. I realized the whole time I was sitting there the line had only moved three seats and there were eight kids in front of me. I decided to get up and make an appointment for Monday instead. Take that, line.
Last night was Sierra's birthday (Sierra is a girl that lives with Lo and her friend) so I went to their place again and we celebrated with pizza, ramen, and the Silent Hill movie. Craaazy bizarre movie too. Then I left and went to Megan's. Today we are going to meet in Little Tokyo and hang out for the day. Hopefully we can go to ramen tonight, hee hee.

Fran is the woman I live with. I live in a room in her house. It's a pretty big room; I like the space and everything. Mike, her boyfriend lives there too, and her two little Shiatsus, Haley and Snickers. Mike and I sit around and talk a lot, I noticed. He is really nice and very helpful. He adjusted the headlights on Alex too. He is even going to try to convince Fran to let me get a ball python. *v* He wins in my book. Fran is very nice too. I really like her. She even called me the night I was at Lo's place to see if I was okay and being good. That surprised me. The neighborhood is nice too. The only thing I don't like about it is the constant cars driving around outside my window... and around 9:00 I can hear the fireworks at Disneyland. >8( I can't wait till it rains...

I am homesick though. Not as bad as Megan yet, but I get very depressed at night and in the morning. I haven't been able to sleep in because of it. I wake up at six or eight, and I stay up till I go to school at like... ten. :( I think the thing that makes me the most depressed is the drive from home to school. I go from the 55 to the 5 to the 133. It seems like every other day, the 5 and the 55 switch traffic jams, but once I get to the 133 I just fly. This must be understood at the beginning: I do not enjoy driving. I hate driving. I get upset when I realize there is somewhere I need to drive to. I think that has a lot to do with my down mood. That and being alone. When I don't have anything to do to distract me from boredom/loneliness I get depressed and I just want to sit down and cry. So when I am at school I am fine, when I am with my friends I am fine... but when I go home I begin to unravel. So without trying to snub Fran and Mike I have been staying away from home for a couple days. :/ I really don't have anyone there.
I am also insanely jealous of Lo's living situation. She lives in a nice apartment two minutes away from school, with three other girls that all get along. She pays two hundred dollars a month less than I do. It's everything that I was hoping for and sooo much more. I love the place I am in, but I really don't like being alone and so far away. Buh...

Well basically the school is great, it feels like a big artist convention or something because we all like the same stuff and it's so small. :E I like being at school so far. But I am going to go to Little Tokyo now so that is it for this entree. Internet probably won't be hooked up to Lucas (my computer) till a week or so... so I will basically be internet-dead till then.

Take care though, I miss everyone a lot. :( I wish California wasn't so big.

I AM HERE!

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 02:57:40 GMT

Oi, woke up at six this morning and started the long trek down to the stink-hole that is Los Angeles. 8D It's a lot shorter of a drive when I am doing the driving... it feels like hardly any time passed at all. Alex (my car if you dont remember... you will have to get used to these nicknames) did very very well on the way; he is such a good little car.
None of my stuff flew out of the back of the pickup so that is good. I am surprised the old piece of junk made it down here without blowing up. Money to do list: help mom and dad pay for new truck... someday. ._.

Right now I am sitting in Megan's dorm just chillin, waiting for her to get back from a concert. We will go to ramen tonight if all works out 8D HAHAAAAAA, for those of you who remember, I have a certain Japanese little noodle-cook there that I like to bother. So happy times for me so far.

My mood has been pretty chipper, I am pretty stressed/upset about finding a good paying job that I can handle in the betweens of school... I worry about Dad and his job situation and I don't want to be a burden. All I can say is I will do the best I can and that is all I can do... so I guess that is that.

Random thoughts:
I was watching some video I shot at Sober-grad... I miss how happy we all were back then. :/ Especially Esther. I really do miss how happy she used to be. *sigh* I already miss everyone alot. Anna: hurry up and get down here 8( I MISS YOUUUU.

Okay, other than that, It will still be a few days till I get MY computer hooked up so this will be the last update till then. Ta ta, hope no one misses me too much!

Packing

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:26:31 GMT

Sooo I went around today and said goodbye to the folks in the White House... Lion and his little brother were the only ones home. Oh well, I wanted to see them anyway so that is good.

Finished packing my junk into the car... I am not looking forward to driving Alex (my car) all that way down. I dont like driving. :( I am most upset about that.

Hopefully I will have enough money to get that computer program dealie from the college... that would be nice. *rolls eyes* I will be surprised if I raise over $100 before I get down there. But I am glad people are willing to help me get some extra cash for school.

Well other than that, nothing else has been going on. I greet those of you who have stopped by or discovered this journal, welcome. Special thanks to mom for upgrading the account to "paid" so I can get those advertisements off of it! Huzzah!

Okay, I go now!

Hello!

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:05:19 GMT

Hey family and those of you who want to read about my EVER SO EXCITING college life! This is my journal for all that stuff. So if you want to read about how I am doing, what boring things I did today and all that what-not, this is the right place.

Right now, I am working on customizing the look and theme of the page, so bear with me for now.