Hoi hoi! Hello everyone!

Everyone... I wonder if anyone even reads this.

Anyway, just updating to say that school is still going well for me. Make up is going smoothly and I am catching up quickly. I am a little emotionally drained, however. Things are making me easily upset lately and that makes things tough because I can't focus as well as I should. I am still working on keeping myself in check so don't worry too much.

The weather has been curiously warm for this time of year. It was nearly 90 in Glendale this weekend... Orange county is a little cooler simply because it is next to the coast. Hopefully it cools off soon.

I can't wait to see everyone at Thanksgiving!

Family!

I wanted to let everyone know I am doing much better now. I am no longer vomiting up everything I eat and besides feeling a little tired I am very good. I learned a little bit though, this time around I will eat and sleep better and keep my stress levels down for myself and everyone else. I will return to school on Monday. Hopefully I won't have too much stuff to make up, but I don't expect to get off easy. I can do it!

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone at home know that I am doing alright, and thank you for the prayers. They really did help me reach this point and I hope they don't stop!

To those of you who pray please send out prayers for me. I really believe in the power of prayer and I need it more than ever right now. To those of you who don't pray send me as many good vibes as you can.

I have been in the ER for the past three or four days with nausia and I haven't been able to keep much down at all in six days. I am very very weak right now, I can hardly walk around without stumbling. I have been surviving on IV fluids up to this point, but that isn't really the right way to survive. I have to eat something... but nothing is staying down.

This isn't due to any physical issues like an ulcer or something, it is all pretty much mental I am sure, but even if I convice myself that everything is ok, my stomach is still used to not having anything in it.







So that is what I ask of you, please pray for me. I don't have many other options. Thank you.

Update on life!

Never like someone that already has a partner. Bad news. Unfortunately I couldn't help myself and I set myself up once again for a hurty hurt. But hopefully all is well now and it just takes some healing.

As a result, I found that I have been getting at the most, four hours of sleep a night for a few days. I also have not eaten for two whole days. I have ended up feeling very weak and tired. I forced down some milk just now but already it feels as if I will see it again soon. Buh, it feels like I am sick with the flu or something. I feel awful. I need to force something to stay in my belly.

School is going well so far, I have been having a good time, nothing is giving me the slip so that is good. Work, has been off and on. Sunday was a terrible day for there was no manager present to cook or run the place, just three new parttimers. The restaraunt totally bombed that night. I hope they get a manager in next Sunday otherwise I won't show up.

Ohhh man, I feel awful.

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO MY HOUSE! I AM HAVING FUN HEEEERE! I CAN'T WAIT TILL I CAN MOVE DOWN HERE! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK ON SATURDAY! I ALSO HAVENT SLEPT IN 48 HOURS!

Auuuugh the thought running through my head right now: "IIIII don't want a job!" It is really depressing me. I think its mainly because I will have NO free days anymore. None. There will be no days I can spend the night at Megans anymore or even go up there to see her because I will have something to go back to the next morning. I really want to cry right now... as silly as that sounds. Mmmmmn I am not happy. The money I make on this job isn't even going to be able to pay for anything besides gas and food, while I guess that is still good but I could make that much on art. I don't know I am just so sad that I have no free days now. I... can't do anything. Ugh. I am upset. Yes I am.

*sigh* I want to do commissions instead. I don't want to work at a food place. I am just going to ... to do this and be depressed. I am making everyone else happy so I guess that is what matters. Whatever it takes, next semester will be better, next semester will be better.

We went swimming today and that was nice. Perspective was really lame, I don't like that class much, but it's better tan 3D design from Shasta College. God in Heaven, I hated that class.

Okay, I am done.

Well it has been a while since I wrote anything, hasn't it? I have my new computer now, he is a MacBook Pro, and his name is Thomas. He is pretty cool so far, he gets more internet than Lucas does so for the time being, I have wireless depending on where I am. So that is the update with that. Oh I got an iPod Nano along with thomas, his name is Juanito. He is better than Franchesco since Franchesco is dead. I am just scared I will break him or something because he is so small. But whatever, he was only 20 bucks. School sure has expensive necessities. Hopefully there isn't anything expensive that I need in my near future, I can make the money I have now go a long way... hopefully.

Speaking of which: this morning... I woke up to a nice present. Alex got a ticket overnight because I parked him on the street on a street-cleaning night. I thought they only cleaned the main street so I parked him on one of the side ones. Well, surprise... I was wrong. It's only fifty bucks, but I can't help but think that is fifty bucks that I could have spent on gas when my cards run out, or on healthier food to keep me alive, or paintbrushes... it just really bores into my mind and makes me rather pissed off. Paying tickets is such a waste of money... it just goes to the county so they can put more gas in their cop cars so they can drive around and give me more tickets to pay. They didn't even pay for the postage on the envelope to send the check in. It's like a pinch of salt in the wound. >8( Stupid money. How come I never have it when I NEED it. I always have it when I don't need it for anything and I end up spending it on stupid stuff.

Gotta get a job soon...

*rubs temples and sighs* But whatever, I just gotta get these things done and out of the way to make room for the next line of crap I need to walk through. Maybe if I am lucky I will get a break soon.


Ya know, after so long without internet, I really don't want to get back on it again. It was kinda nice not keeping up with all the going ons here and there. I just want to update things here and there and let it roll...


Anyway, thank you to anyone who has sent me money in the past for the beginning of college, I just wanted to let you know it did help even if it wasn't an amazing amount.
Oh and speaking of which, has everyone emailed me about the print? I have gotten a reply for the Flying Friends and the bunny/dolphin print, but the person who won the wolves fighting never contacted me... I don't think. :/ I want to try to send them all out at once so I don't have to make trips to the post office three different times. Buuuut if I have to then I will. I just wanted to know what was up. Thanks!

Do de doooo

Cody visiting was rather nice. Didn't get a chance to show him my place, I just live too far away. Buuut whatever. I hope he had a good time.

We went to Malibu beach on Sunday, it was rather nice. I got half the ocean pounded into my head though... that wasn't so nice. I didn't get sunburnt either, so that is good. We saw a bunch of little fat kids throwing garbage into the ocean though, and we were tempted to throw them into the deep water by their ankles. That really makes me mad how people can just do that and not even care. Trash rolls by them and they just look at it as it passes. No, I don't care if this isn't your section of beach or if this isn't your country or... what the reason is, you don't just throw your trash into the ocean and giggle as it floats away, or not pick up a plastic bag as it rolls by your feet. Or just pick up after yourself as you leave. How is it so hard? Hur, like it does much help saying it here... I wish I could just walk up to the people doing these things and tell them what for, then kick sand into their face.

Kicking sand at stupid people is joy.

Yesterday we went to Eric's mom's house to watch football again and we ate a tub of icecream. I swear I am not eating much, but what I AM eating isn't healthy. 8( I am going to be a tubby Kitsu when I am done with the first year.

Today Megan is at work again, and I am going to go to Swains to pick up some more art supplies. To quote Mr. Crabs: ME MONIEEE! I can't believe how much art supplies cost. Don't they know that artists are poor? How are we supposed to buy these things? Ugh.

To Dad: I hear you talked to Megan. To answer your question: no I don't have a job yet. Yes I know I need one. Yes I am trying to find one. I will tell you when I get one, so please don't rub my face in the fact till then. Besides that, I miss you and I hope work isn't as terrible as you make it sound. I can't wait to see you and everyone else come Thanksgiving!

To Nana and Gramps: Thank you for the scripts! I will use them with pride. :)


WELL I think I need to go off and get some art supplies. Hopefully they won't melt in my car before I can use them like some of my art supplies did. 8( I can't wait till the sun gets further away. I had to throw away a ruler because it got rather wavy from the heat. All of my woodless graphite is slimy too. SAD FACE. Anyway, less talk, more doing stuff.

I love all of you, regardless of what I might let on. I can't wait for Christmas! *dance*

Just an update on life while I have the internets.

I am at Megan's this weekend. Hopefully that helps with the whole 'I feel like a hot sack of poop' thing that keeps coming up every now and then. We went to ramen tonight, and though I know my parents will laugh at me, I finally got turned down by Nao. Took him long enough, no? His excuse was that he had a girlfriend, haw haw. Whaaatever, I can take the hint, whatever it takes him to get his point across I guess. But you know, now I feel terribly self conscious about the whole thing...then again why shouldn't I feel self conscious; I act like a drunk person everytime I go in there. Welp, I guess I should slip back into the whole 'I hate love' routine again. *coughs*

Anyway, classes so far have gone well. I was an hour late to Digital Imaging today... oops! I forgot it was at nine in the morning, not ten. Haaaw, well the professor didn't seem too miffed, but I hope I don't do that again. Traffic was certainly lovely on the way too *sarcasm* I haaaate making that drive twice a day. The homework load is pretty intense... especially when I don't have internet to get things from the teachers, but I will do what I can. God willing, all my financial aid crud falls into place and I can keep going to classes.

Sad I missed Manami and Uncle Stew when they came up... not like I could help it. But HECK, I wouldn't have even known about it had I not heard Megan mention their house on the phone when Grampa called. Get ready for the sarcasm again! Thanks Grampa for mentioning they were there, or offering to have them talk to me? I dunno. I just reaaaaally feel like you guys don't like me that much as it is, specially Grampa. It hurts. Specially when I live behind Megan's shadow in practically everything. That isn't necessarily Megan's fault either. Does a piece of metal in my face really change how you feel about me? I am still the same old kid I always have been, just a little shinier in the lip area. I don't get it, what is worse... the fact that I have five grams of metal in my lip or the fact that people think that five grams of metal changes what kind of a person I am. Maybe it's not like that, but that is how I am seeing things from here, so forgive me if I am wrong. Megan pierced her belly button and you guys still love her just as much if not more?

*sigh* Forgive me, I have been having a tough couple weeks, and I am in a mood to rant and relieve some stress.


Anyway, about the only thing now that will help me is sleep so I must be off to it.

(to everyone that was on my friends list)
Sorry but I have to keep this journal friendless from my side. 8( I have innocent family members reading this and I don't want to get in trouble because of something on my friends pages. It's nothing against anyone, I just forgot that I was going to keep it this way and I remembered after I added everyone ><; So don't get angry or anything... the friendsing is for my other journal.